Chronicles of a Carb-o-holic

i am.. so estatic right now.

for one day, one WHOLE ENTIRE DAY, i actually did good.. ALL DAY!!!!

for those of you who didn’t get to read my super-happy-vent on the forums, i will explain cuz… i’m long winded like that, lol.

so, for the longest time, i’ve been struggling, as you can see from my weight chart, i’ve gained more than i’ve lost.. boo. i go up and down with exercising, but the really horrible thing is my diet… i binge on junk when i get bored, or upset, or lonely, or.. anything really.

today i started off strong by making myself get up at 6:30 AM to work out. i was really stressin about this, because whenever i try to wake up early, i always snooze my alarm clock and make excuses. it’s sooooooo hard to get out of bed. it was even embedded into my subconscious, because i was dreaming about waking up and doing my workouts lol.

i was going to do our fitness challenges, but… i’m retarded when it comes to trying to do moves that i have to read about and can’t see, so i did a dvd instead.. my yoga booty ballet: goddess booty… it works your tushy, hard core

then i made sure to have a nice, fullfilling breakfast, cereal with lots of fiber and protein, minimal sugar (so hard to find!!!!). and then, off to work i went.

work is usually where my first binge begins. a couple hershey kisses, some cookies from the freezer.. lol. my boss even brought in leftover graduation cake from her daughters party, but somehow.. i resisted!!! i wasn’t even craving that much, it was awesome. i stayed to my diet, and had some yogurt for a snack and then one of those south beach died meals .. the santa fe chicken is yummy yummy! i even added some fresh tomato slices to it, for a veggie :p and i didn’t snack on junk, not at all!!!

then, my coworker wanted to go on a walk after work, so we did that before our pilates class, which is an hour long. by then, though, i really had to pee from all the water i drank, lol, and i was feeling a little tired (i forgot to have a snack beforehand, oopsie) so i didn’t do my best, and was even dragging a little… looking into the mirror made me want to cry a little because i seemed extra short and pudgy today. thinking about it now.. it sucked.

but none of that. becuase i came home, cut up an apple and a nanner for a snack, then went for a two-mile walk with our puppies. usually i try to jog a couple stretches, but i don’t know if it’s because i’ve gained some weight or what, but… it like, hurts to jog. my ankles, my feet, my shins… augh. so i walked. i need to find a better cardio. for a while, during the winter, running was fun… but now i’m like, burnt out on it or something. it doesn’t hold the same appeal.

but no sad faces. lol. i’m going to try to stay positive, because after that, i made a little dinner… okay, it wasn’t super healthy, a frozen burrito, lol… but i had salsa on it, pace, which… does that count as a veggie serving btw? lol. and it fit well below my allotted calories for the day, so much that i let myself have a big bowl of cereal (cap’n crunch.. lol..) without worrying about calories because i know i’m really low today. so… okay, yeah, my dinner wasn’t like really healthy or anything… but… that’s still like, a big step for me so.. even though, it seems like i had my ups and downs today, my night is ending on an up, which is awesome. i just hope this is what i needed.. one day, just one day to do stuff good and keep focused. i imagine it’s like a boulder at the top of a hill. one day gives me the push i need to gain momentum and keep on going down the hill.

corny, right? lol. oh well.

i hope everybody had a great monday! (ironic,yes, lol, sorry!!)

thank you all so much for pushing me and motivating me… i know it took a while.. but hopefully… whiny luka won’t be around as much. i kind of like optimistic luka. she doesn’t give me such a headache