the ups and downs of tuesday
today was very roller-coaster-ish.
i didn’t have to work, and i had planned with my mom to go shopping for my sister’s 18th birthday tomorrow. we weren’t planning on leaving until ten or eleven, so i was like “sweet, enough time to wake up early and workout”
no. i slept in. i suck.
i am completely HORRIBLE at getting myself out of bed. any tricks for that???
so, i felt poopy. but, i had an apple and yogurt for breakfast, and water before we headed off, so i was feeling good.
then, we stopped for lunch.
my mom loves village inn, and always gets the cobb salad, which i was like, fine, i can get a salad, too, no big deal. but for some reason, she decided she DIDN’T want a salad, and i did the very very bad thing of looking at the menu, and then i became completely confused. i got a bacon cheeseburger (comes with fries) and my mom got an omelette (comes with hashbrowns and pancakes).. we ended up splitting our meals so both of us had half of each. safe to say, i ate a lot, but it didn’t *feel* like a lot, but my mom made the comment about me eating a lot.. so… grr. i didn’t feel stuffed though. but i knew in my head i ate too many calories. which, that is bad when you don’t feel like how much you ate. i DON’T want my stomach getting used to having tons of food, you know??
augh, i can’t concentrate ,my parents are being loud. okay. anyway.
we went shopping next, and this guy came up and started hitting on me, which was funny and a little ego boosting. first he asked if we were sisters (duh, that was definately a line), and then said i was beautiful and wanted to give me his number? oh, and he said he thought i looked 21, 22, which was good, because most people think i’m still in high school (i’m 20). but… a little part of me starting thinking, okay, what if it was a bet with friends, try to find a fat, ugly girl to hit on or something.. you know? so… that kind of let the air out of my balloon. idk.
uummm.. we went into vanity, and if you guys don’t know the store, i always want to go in it but the clothes are so cute, they look like it’s skinnies-only. but i got a couple pants, which is AWESOME because since i’ve gained weight i can’t fit into my old pants (SUCKS) so i’ve been wearing my sister’s (UGH). plus, the sizes aren’t numbered (ie, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, etc..), they are labeled by inches (waist x inseam), so that doesn’t make me feel bad, because i’m not used to those types of labeling, so i’m completely ignorant about my size. lol. does that make sense?
then, i went down a little more when i was trying on shirts.. usually shirts are easiest for me to find, but again.. i’ve gotten fat. back rolls are SO prominent in shirts, as well as my tummy pudge and my huge flabby triceps. i got only one shirt, and it’s white and pink stripes.. thick horizontal. i thought it would look bad because horizontal stripes are supposed to make you look wider, but they also help hide my back rolls (they blend into the fabric lol) so it’s all good. my arms are still flabby though.
ummmmm. then we went to a couple other stores, got my sister a present, which made me happy, and went to walmart and tried on a swimsuit, which made me super depressed.
i just finished baking her cake, it’s a two-layer-triple-chocolate type thing, with pink cream cheese frosting and melted white chocolate drizzles. all homemade 
i’m going to add a photo to show you all, i’m so proud lol. my goal is to NOT EAT THAT TOMORROW. which, we are doing it in the morning before she goes to school, so i should be good.
right after work, we are going to blacklight-mini-golf and out to dinner, so i won’t be able to work out, so i am going to get up and work out!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!! lol. i saw a picture of britney spears and how good she is looking, and i want to do that. ideally i’d love to lose the back rolls, thin my thighs and arms, and lose my belly pooch by the time i leave for europe, but that’s the beginning of june, so… that probably isn’t reality. if i pushed myself and worked out a lot, and didn’t eat ANY junk at all, maybe. i need something to keep my motivation up all day long. hmmm. any suggestions??
so, i am off, i hope everybody has a good hump day tomorrow!!!
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Luka, I love that you have the guts to write all of the stuff that goes through your head! I wish I could do that.
I totally empathize with your fear that you were getting hit on because of some bet. But let me tell you this: you weren’t! You were getting hit on because you are adorable! Remember not all guys want to date a toothpick who eats only rabbit food. Some guys like a girl with a little meat on her bones. Give youself some credit!!!
How was that cake?
I know people are going to get tired of me saying this all the time but I really believe it. You can’t worry about being on a “diet”. If you want this to work you have to make a life style change. Most importantly you have to be realistic. Is it realistic to thank you are never going to eat a piece of cake, or have a burger and fries? No. Some days you will go out to eat. You will go to a party and have cake and chips. The key is to eat smaller amounts and to tell your self that it was ok. If you tell your self you failed you will go backward several steps. So when you make the choice to eat something non “diet” just be a little more careful the next couple of days. If you deny your self “treats” now and then you stand a much better chance of really piggy out.
Okay so I didn’t mean to make this so long. It’s just that I wrote a blog about Chinese and biscuits the other day when I made this revalation. Now I just feel like I have to share it with everyone
Yep, Jaci said it best.
For getting out of bed & workingout, set an alarm! I do it. I pretend that it’s a meeting or an appointment that I can’t miss. So I wake up, get my workout clothes on & go. Try it once, you’d be surprised.
Ok, this sounds kind of funny, but on days that I don’t *have* to wake up but kind of want to, I leave my phone downstairs and don’t have a clock in my room. I’m so curious during those, “ok, what time is it, can I sleep more?” moments that I have to get out of bed, put on some clothes, walk downstairs to the kitchen, check the time, at which point I have to go to the bathroom, see if anyone called, maybe pop on the news…you get it. it’s just getting OUT of bed that’s the hard part.
another trick my friend has is leaving a snack, like a granola bar or an apple, by his bed at night. when his alarm goes off the first time, he takes a big bite and chews. That gets your breakfast, must eat breakfast reflex going. then, he’s up, and its good, because you should eat something right when you wake up anyway, and a little bit to fuel that morning workout should be good.